March 30th, 2008 by alison

For there will come a time when the lucky child who felt enough to weep then will at last be able to smile and say, “Remember when Mommy read me those stories, remember when she danced, remember when she made my costume.”  When the friend who thought she would never recover from grief, when the husband or wife who thought his own life was over, will cease to cry, will be able to take pleasure in saying: “Remember how she used to lean her head back when she laughed?”  ”Remember how he loved to garden, out there way past the the last frost?”  ”Remember when she cut all her hair off and was so sorry?”    

And feel the pleasure in having her there again.  In bringing him back to life for those moments.  A new life.  Truly a life after death.  Because if metaphor is one of the ways we have left to approach God, to begin to understand faith, memory itself is a living metaphor for the eternal life.  Loss brings pain.  Yes.  But pain triggers memory.  And memory is a kind of new birth, within each of us.  And it is that new birth after long pain, that resurrection - in memory, that, to our surprise, perhaps, comforts us. 

From “While I was Gone” by Sue Miller

Posted in Cathy |

2 Responses

  1. Michelle Says:

    Hi Alison:

    I am Cathy’s cousin, her mom was my mom’s younger sister. I left the Chicago area back in 1984 and moved to Colorado so I haven’t seen Cathy in years. when I would go home, I would see my Uncle Vince (Cathy’s dad) and her brother Kevin but Cathy was busy with school etc. Well when my mom called last night to tell me about Cathy’s passing she said that my uncle had told her that Cathy’s husband wrote a beautiful excerpt on the web and I thought I would search for it and found your blog instead. I want to thank you for sharing your friendship, memories, pictures and Cathy’s struggle with her illness. I never saw Cathy as a young woman and wow she was beautiful nor did I ever get to meet her son. So I thank you again! I am sorry for your loss also.

    Michelle D. Hartz-Hitchcock

  2. thensley Says:

    I went to PA school with Cathy. There was a group of us girls that would get together some to eat, drink, laugh, cry, vent about school etc. We all graduated, moved, started our careers and families and I am sorry to say most didn’t keep in touch. I sat by Cathy in class alot and I just thought she was a hoot! I also remember how much she loved her Danny(at that time she called Dan that but I can only imagine how awesome she was at being a momma too!) I was devastated to hear Cathy died. I never knew she was in this fight or I would have reached out- for that I am sorry too. Even though I only knew her a short time- her impact was real! She really is one of those people who imprint on your heart and soul! I have read some on the YSc boards- I do see God was working through her and touching so many there too. I wanted to make sure I could send money to the site you have listed or if there is something else she wanted can you pass it along. I will share it with the few others that I have email for from school. She was truly an amazing woman I am deeply saddened by this but I will strive to live more fully and love more deeply and work on fighting this disease. Please let me know if I can help in any way. Does this site give you access to my email? I hope so. I really want to help. My preayers are with Dan, Danny and all her friends and family. Thank you, Tara

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