So I said I would tell you how I got perspective, then I disappeared. I think I am scared to start to write about it. That, and I have been busy as hell.I am one of those girls that has never been blessed with a plethora of good girl friends. But those that I have had have been the most amazing women you could ever meet. Finding 3 amazing women to stand up in my wedding stretched the limits of the good girl friends I have been blessed with. And I could not have asked for better women to stand by my side.Getting those 3 women to stand up with me was not an easy task. We are all over achievers a physicist, a clinical psychologist, and a physician’s assistant who specializes in neonatal cardiac care. We are all very busy women. But that wasn’t the problem. The physicist is my sister-in-law (S), and was the easiest to secure her spot of honor. The psychologist was diagnosed with melanoma before the wedding (E). But worst of all was my maid of honor, she had been battling breast cancer for about a year and a half (C). When the good girls are hard to come by, you hold them close.The melanoma was caught super early and should never be an issue again. The breast cancer on the other handC was diagnosed in April 2005. In May 2005, as soon as my exams were over, and before my new job started I rushed off to Texas to see her, soon after chemo had started. She battled through the chemo, the radiation, and a mastectomy. And we all cheered when she rang the bell and was pronounced NED (no evidence of disease). Still, committing to a wedding was a lot to ask. But one thing cancer teaches its victims is to live for today. And I could not, and would not want to, be married without her by my side.But back to the topic at hand. Perspective. In the whirlwind of wedding planning, perspective wasn’t there. But it smacked me dead in the face by the time 2007 got under way. The first smack in the face was when my husband got laid off. That was merely a bump in our road, new jobs can be (and have been) found. But the news of metastases floored me to a point that I couldn’t pick myself up off the floor for days. I was lucky for monotonous work, where I could put the headphones on and ignore the world around me because talking, even about the weather, would bring me to tears. Suddenly a core part of my being was devastated and I didn’t know how to function from day to day.The news that tore me down was the breast cancer returned. Returned to the lungs, liver and bones. And she is one of my bestest of bestest friends. And as she stood up strong, or at least put up a strong face, I fell down. And after picking myself up, perspective has completely changed.I can bitch about all the little things, but they mean nothing now. But, at the same time, I have never felt so helpless. And the helplessness is something that kills me a little bit more everyday. But feeling so helpless makes me feel guilty, because I know how helpless SHE feels on a daily basis.So here I am. Feeling a new perspective on day-to-day life. Learning about strength anew from someone who was so much stronger than anyone I knew well before the shit hit the fan. And trying to control my emotions on a day-to-day basis. My husband, my father, my friends”.. they don’t want to hear me bitch about cancer ALL the damn time. So my dad recommended I start to write. So I am trying. And the thing is, I don’t want to write about cancer. I want to write to my friend. But I don’t want to be the bothersome friend. She has enough BS to deal with. We all have enough to deal with. But she gots loads!!So here is my tribute to her. My release of thoughts and worries and memories. It is an outlet, that at least, for now, no one but me reads.Stay tuned. I have lots to say.